Joseph Addison, The Tatler, No. 224. Thursday, September 14. 1710.
It is my custom in a dearth of News, to entertain my self with those collections of Advertisements that appear at the end of all our publick Prints. These I consider as accounts of News from the Little World, in the same manner that the foregoing parts of the paper are from the Great. If in one we hear that a Sovereign Prince is fled from his Capital city, in the other we hear of a Tradesman who hath shut up his Shop and run away. (…)
But to consider this subject in its most ridiculous Lights. Advertisements are of great use to the Vulgar: First of all, as they are instruments of Ambition. A man that is by no means big enough for the Gazette, may easily creep into the Advertisements; by which means we often see an Apothecary in the same paper of news with a Plenipotentiary, or a Running-footman with an Ambassador. An Advertisement from Picadilly [sic] goes down to Posterity, with an Article from Madrid; and John Bartlett (*) of Goodman’s Fields is celebrated in the same paper with the Emperor of Germany. (…)
A second use which this sort of writings have been turned to of late years, has been the management of Controversy, insomuch that above half the Advertisements one meets with now-a-days are purely Polemical. The Inventors of Strops for Razors have written against one another this way for several years, and that with great bitterness; as the whole argument pro and con in the case of the Morning Gowns is still carried on after the same manner. I need not mention the several Proprietors of Dr. Anderson’s Pills (…)
The third and last use of these writings is, to inform the world where they may be furnished with almost every thing that is necessary for life. If a man has Pains in his Head, Cholicks (†) in his Bowels, or Spots in his Clothes, he may here meet with proper Cures and Remedies. (…)
The great Art in writing Advertisements, is the finding out a proper method to catch the Reader’s eye; without which a good thing may pass over unobserved, or be lost among Commissions of Bankrupt. Asterisks and Hands (‡) were formerly of great use for this purpose. Of late years, the N.B. has been much in fashion; as also little Cuts and Figures, the invention of which we must ascribe to the Author of Spring-trusses. I must not omit the blind Italian Character, which being scarce legible, always fixes and detains the eye, and gives the curious Reader something like the satisfaction of prying into a secret.
But the great skill in an Advertiser, is chiefly seen in the Style which he makes use of. He is to mention the universal Esteem, or the general Reputation of things that were never heard of. (…) Since I am thus usefully employed in writing Criticisms on the works of these diminutive Authors, I must not pass over in silence an Advertisement which has lately made its appearance, and is written altogether in a Ciceronian manner. It was sent to me, with five shillings, to be inserted among my Advertisements; but as it is a Pattern of good writing in this way, I shall give it a place in the body of my paper.
The highest compound spirit of Lavender, the most glorious (if the expression may be used) enlivening Scent and Flavour that can possibly be, which so raptures the Spirits, delights the Gust, (§) and gives such airs to the Countenance, as are not to be imagined but by those that have tried it. The meanest sort of the thing is admired by most Gentlemen and Ladies; but this far more, as by far it exceeds it, to the gaining among all a more than common esteem. It is sold (in neat Flint bottles fit for the Pocket) only at the Golden-key in Warton’s-court near Holborn-bars, for 3s. 6d. with Directions.
At the same time that I recommend the several Flowers in which this Spirit of Lavender is wrapped up, (if the expression may be used) I cannot excuse my Fellow-labourers for admitting into their papers several uncleanly advertisements, not at all proper to appear in the works of polite Writers. Among these I must reckon the Carminative (¶) Wind-expelling Pills. If the Doctor had called them his Carminative Pills, he had done as cleanly as any one could have wished; but the second word entirely destroys the decency of the first. There are other absurdities of this nature so very gross, that I dare not mention them; and shall therefore dismiss this subject.
(*) A truss maker.
(†) Cholicks: pains arising from stricture of the intestines as a result of trapped wind.
(‡) The technical term is manicule, a typographic mark in the form of a hand with a pointing index finger: ☞. Originating as a handwritten symbol to indicate passages of interest in the margins of manuscripts, the manicule was a feature of early print advertising, but had begun to fall out of use due to over-familiarity by Addison's time. Since the nineteenth century, the manicule has been seen as quaint, and is now used only where an ironic, faux antique touch is sought.
(§) Gust, i.e., goût, Latin gustus.
(¶) Medicament to relieve trapped wind. The term dates from the mid-seventeenth century and derives from the Latin carminare ‘to card (wool)’: ‘A medical term from the old theory of humours. The object of
carminatives is to expel wind, but the theory was that they dilute and
relax the gross humours from whence the wind arises, combing them out
like the knots in wool’ (Hensleigh Wedgwood, A Dictionary of English Etymology, London, 1859). Cf. Swift's advice to the parents of brides in Strephon and Chloe (1731):
Keep them to wholsome Food confin'd,
Nor let them taste what causes Wind;
('Tis this the Sage of Samos means,
Nor let them taste what causes Wind;
('Tis this the Sage of Samos means,
Forbidding his Disciples Beans)
O, think what Evils must ensue;
Miss Moll the Jade will burn it blue:
And when she once has got the Art,
She cannot help it for her Heart;
O, think what Evils must ensue;
Miss Moll the Jade will burn it blue:
And when she once has got the Art,
She cannot help it for her Heart;
But, out it flies, even when she meets
Her Bridegroom in the Wedding-Sheets.
Carminative and Diuretick,
Will damp all Passion Sympathetick;
And, Love such Nicety requires,
Her Bridegroom in the Wedding-Sheets.
Carminative and Diuretick,
Will damp all Passion Sympathetick;
And, Love such Nicety requires,
One Blast will put out all his Fires.
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