Jiří Šalamoun's Tristram Shandy (5)

 

I had now the whole south of France, from the banks of the Rhône to those of the Garonne to traverse upon my mule at my own leisure——at my own leisure——for I had left Death, the lord knows——and He only——how far behind me——“I have followed many a man thro’ France, quoth he—but never at this mettlesome rate”——Still he followed,——and still I fled him——but I fled him chearfully——still he pursued——but like one who pursued his prey without hope——as he lag’d, every step he lost, softened his looks——why should I fly him at this rate?

 

Vol. VII, Chap. XLII

 

——Bon jour!——good morrow!——so you have got your cloak on betimes!——but ’tis a cold morning, and you judge the matter rightly——’tis better to be well mounted, than go o’foot——and obstructions in the glands are dangerous——And how goes it with thy concubine——they wife——and thy little ones o’both sides? and when did you hear from the old gentleman and lady—your sister, aunt, uncle and cousins——I hope they have got better of their colds, coughs, claps, tooth-aches, fevers stranguries, sciaticas, swellings, and sore-eyes.——What a devil of an apothecary! to take so much blood—give such a vile purge—puke—poultice—plaister—night-draught—glister—blister?——And why so many grains of calomel? and such a dose of opium! periclitating, pardi! the whole family of ye, from head to tail——By my great aunt Dinah’s old black velvet mask! I think there was no occasion for it.

Vol. VIII, Chap. III

 

—— “And drink nothing ?—nothing but water?”

——Impetuous fluid! the moment thou pressest against the flood-gates of the brain,——see how they give way!——

In swims Curiosity [zvědavost], beckoning to her damsels to follow——they dive into the centre of the current——

 Fancy [obraznost] sits musing upon the bank [břeh], and, with her eyes following the stream [řeka], turns straws and bulrushes into masts and bowsprits.——And Desire [touha], with vest held up to the knee in one hand, snatches at them, as they swim by her, with the other——

O ye water-drinkers! is it then by this delusive fountain that ye have so often governed and turned this world about like a mill-wheel,——grinding the faces of the impotent,—bepowdering their ribs—be-peppering their noses, and changing sometimes even the very frame and face of nature——

Vol. VIII, Chap. V  

 

——No; I shall never have a finger in the pie (so here I break my metaphor)——

Crust [kůrka] and crumb [střída]
Inside [dužina] and out [slupka]

Top and bottom——I detest it, I hate it, I repudiate it——I'm sick at the sight of it——

’Tis all pepper,

        garlic,
        staragen,
        salt, and  

        devil’s dung——by the great arch-cook of cooks, who does nothing, I think, from morning to night, but sit down by the fire-side and invent inflammatory dishes for us,I would not touch it for the world——

Vol. VIII, Chap. XI

In love !——said the Corporal,—your Honour was very well the day before yesterday, when I was telling your Honour the story of the King of Bohemia—Bohemia! said my uncle Toby - - - - musing a long time - - - What became of that story, Trim ?

We lost it, an’ please your Honour, somehow betwixt us—but your Honour was as free from love then as I am——’Twas just whilst thou went'st off with the wheel-barrow—with Mrs. Wadman, quoth my uncle Toby——She has left a ball here—added my uncle Toby, pointing to his breast——

Vol. VIII, Chap. XXVIII

Though the Corporal had been as good as his word in putting my uncle Toby's great Ramallies wig into pipes, yet the time was too short to produce any great effects from it: it had lain many years squeezed up in the corner of his old campaign trunk; and as bad forms are not so easy to be got the better of, and the use of candle-ends not so well understood, it was not so pliable a business as one would have wished. The Corporal, with cheery eye and both arms extended, had fallen back perpendicular from it a score times, to inspire it, if possible, with a better air——had Spleen given a look at it, ’twould have cost her ladyship a smile——it curl’d every where but where the Corporal would have it; and where a buckle or two, in his opinion, would have done it honour, he could as soon have raised the dead. 

Vol. IX, Chap. II